29 Signs You’re In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Written by - Reviewed by Consumer Health Digest Team

Published: Jul 17, 2019 | Last Updated: Jul 18, 2019

An abusive relationship – what could be more humiliating? Learn the ways to detect the relationship issues and how to resolve them.
Emotional Issues
Emotional Issues in Relationship. Shutterstock Images

An abusive relationship – what could be more humiliating? Thousands of couples encounter this difficulty nowadays and have no idea that their union is now unhappy. It primarily concerns women because in general, they would rather neglect that something is wrong than taking steps towards a better relationship.

According to the latest research, approximately one in three women has had an abusive relationship at least once. In the following article, we will relay the 29 most striking signs that your romantic relationship is abusive, and also give you several tips on how to get rid of these issues.

1. Only One spouse Makes Decisions

Are you continually in despair? Does your boyfriend always decide where to go and what to do instead of a joint decision? This is a big sign that you are in an abusive relationship! If your spouse is entirely not interested in your point of view and makes all the changes by him/herself, whether you will be a couple in the future in question.

If your relationship is healthy, you will make all the necessary decisions in life together. What kind of vacation to choose or what cake to order – all these items are pretty significant for basic cohabitation. Try to speak to your spouse at least twice about this, and if that doesn’t work, walk away. Oh, no! RUN away!

2. You Are Afraid Of Your Partner

A happy relationship means that you will trust your spouse and never be afraid of them. If you feel that they are trying to scare you – say goodbye to your relationship, because nobody should terrify you. Moreover, tactics like these are forbidden under US constitutional law, so if your partner crosses the line, they could end up imprisoned for a while.

If you suppose that it is high time to end the relationship, yet you are afraid to so – please, do not be silent and go to the police. It could cost you your nerves or even your life if you hide your fear.

3. Household Responsibilities Are Not Equal

Is it really that hard to both work and do all the chores with no help from your spouse? Of course, it is. If you both do business, but only you are liable for all stuff like cleaning, washing, ironing, and other issues, this is not an acceptable relationship at all.

You should share the responsibilities and do a particular piece of work at home. Family includes everything ordinary and universal, so why not also divide general deeds?

4. Personal Boundaries Are Not Respected

Angry Couple

Get personal space for yourself. Shutterstock Images

If you are eager to be alone from time to time, do it. If your spouse does not give you any space for yourself, abusive is the best adjective for this relationship.

Undoubtedly, personal boundaries are astonishingly significant for each of us, because every day we interact with a large number of people, run numerous errands, etc.

In this type of situation, explain to your husband or wife that you require individual interests, and if he/she truly loves you – everything will be done in short order.

5. You Are Not Liable For Your Finances

It is extraordinary if only your partner has power over the family finances. If you are a couple, you need to be eligible for all income and expenses together. Intrinsically, each spouse can have an amount of money “just for me”; however, this does not cover all the finances.

If you are a mother on sabbatical, and currently do not earn money, try to ask your relatives to help you, speak to your spouse, or file for divorce. With financial troubles, love will walk right out the door.

6. You are Isolated From Your Family

It’s one thing for your partner to spend a great time with you, but if the person you’re with begins to separate you from your family, friends, acquaintances, etc., then that’s a huge dilemma.

It’s right for you to have relationships outside of your marriage with your spouse or partner. Don’t let them persuade you otherwise and ruin your life. Abusive relationships can begin if you do not seek help – remember, that is the main cause of your isolation!

7. He Is Too Jealous

Jealous Boyfriend

When he is too jelous. Shutterstock Images

In general, it seems to be so romantic if your partner has strong feelings towards you and your everyday life. However, if it is too much – well, be ready to change your partner!

A morally brutal partner isn’t merely jealous of those you’re most connected with but also of your thoughts, and as a result, they need to manage every tiny issue of your life.

A confident personality doesn’t need to be jealous of the connections you have with others, as they assume that you and the relationship you’ve built are genuine. If you see that your partner is going to the edge with jealousy, show that you love him more than others. If not, hit the road.

Read Next: How to Use the Four Pillars of Self-Care to Dispel Jealousy

8. You Argue With Each Other Too Much

Occasional arguments are not unusual in relationships and are not always unhealthy; nevertheless, cases in emotionally abusive ties are. These arguments lead to an escalation of troubles speedily and have no endpoint.

Even regular dialogues might lead to corporal abuse, so take care of yourself and never let anybody scold you if you do not want to obey! Constant arguments can cause not just divorce but also a complete hatred towards each other.

9. Constant criticism

It does not matter what you do in a relationship, it’s never true enough, and it’s never satisfying. Does your spouse want impossible things? Humiliates you? Swears at and insults you or your relatives?

In places, this can be viewed as gentle ribbing, needed amusement. If it happens all the time, you should explain to your partner why it is not appropriate for you. If these moral attacks continue – cut ties without hesitation. This is better than being unhappy for the rest of your life.

10. You Always Make Concessions

Nothing’s wrong with making your spouse happy and adjusting yourself to fit their wishes. But if you find yourself losing who you are, this is bad. You might think that your happiness doesn’t even exist because you are so worried about your spouse.

You could also miss out on a well-paid job if your husband doesn’t approve, couldn’t you? According to a recent survey conducted by an online divorce company, concessions are predominantly the first reason for a future breakup. If you don’t stop thinking only about your spouse, your marriage will crack from inside rather quickly. Bear that in mind!

11. You are Emotionally Empty

One more sign that your relationship is abusive is if you realize that you are emotionally empty and need a break. You can not understand this for a while; after some time, however, you will feel it. Your spouse consumes all your power, strength, etc.

In cases of this nature, you need to make a strong early in the relationship, or else you could lose yourself without any chance to survive.

12. Your Sexual Relations Are Over

Unhappy Couple

Something is wrong in your sexual relations. Shutterstock Images

This might seem to be a rather obvious fact; however, if you feel that you have not had “real” sex for more than six months, this is a sign that something is wrong in your relationship.

Sex is a highly important item of a partnership, and skipping this issue could mean that your partner does not like you, or is even disgusted. You may want to speak with your partner about this situation, as it could be the beginning of the end.

See Also: Low Libido – Is Loss Of Sex Drive Spoiling Your Relationship?

13. Your Spouse Demands That You Dress In a Particular Way

It is only your choice how to look and how to dress; if you are not ready to tell this to your spouse, there is a problem between you both, and it should be solved immediately.

Your style is your right, so never let your partner tell you what to wear or what color of eye shadow to choose.

14. Your Spouse Terrifies You by Mentioning Suicide

Manipulation is a mighty weapon, so if your spouse tells you something like “I will kill myself if you go away”, just go – nothing will happen.

Point them to a mental health specialist, though. The more you are sucked in by these words, the worse it will be for you. Somebody who threatens you with something is not ready for love.

15. Your Spouse Has a Bad Habit

And all your requests to stop it are completely useless. For instance, they take drugs and promise to quit every single time you tell them about it. Well, this looks like an abusive relationship right here!

In this kind of situation, you have to think not only about yourself but also about your children. Current or future ones. They need to have a perfect father or mother, with no new bad stuff. Leave this relationship if you want to get pleasure from this life.

16. Your Relations Are a Secret

Regarding recent research from professional psychologists, if your relationship is kept a secret because of your spouse, it is likely of the abusive variety. You can say that you do not care about this, but this is probably untrue.

You’re allowing your spouse to live their life formally without you. Be careful and do not let your partner do this; it could cost you half of your life to show everybody that you are a couple.

17. Your Spouse Does Not Care For Your Joint Children

All responsibilities for your joint children fall on your shoulders. Beginning to think that your spouse hates them? Or does not care? Or pays no attention? Yes! It all makes sense. Only you need the relationship, the family, etc.

For your abusive partner, it is just nothing. What a pity. Initially you can try to fight this, and if that doesn’t work, your relationship needs to come to an end, pronto.
Suffering Children

Not sharing the responsibilities of children. Shutterstock Images

18. Your Spouse Says Bad Words About Your Parents

If they love you, this will never happen. It is a rule. No bad or abusive words about you or your family. If this rule is broken, it’s sad to say but sooner or later, you will break up. Tell your partner about your feelings. Maybe this will help, and regardless, do not let anybody hurt your feelings.

19. Your Spouse Beats You

And you are in silence because you are afraid to tell anybody about this fact. Your life is completely broken, yet you try to survive as much as possible. Beating is not love; hopefully, you have already realized this, so the only way to protect yourself is to call the police and then skedaddle!

If you give your partner one more chance, nothing will change, that’s for sure! Sometimes it happens; people change. However, these cases are the exception, not the rule.

20. You Are Always Wrong

Everything you propose or suggest is completely wrong. Your spouse believes that only they can elaborate on constructive opinions. Imagine how terrible it is to wake up and tell your husband how much you love him, and have him reply that he knows better about your love.

Sounds depressing. Anyway, you won’t be a smart egg if you forgive this behavior from your husband or wife. Remember that with time, it might just keep getting worse.

21. You Had an Abusive Family in Childhood

As a rule, if you had an attitude in childhood, you will seek similar relationships in adult life. Psychologists claim that only 30% of all women who get used to abuse can get rid of this attitude and begin a healthy relationship again.

In the majority of cases, women remain all their lives with the same abusive husbands, like their mothers.

It looks rather masochistic, yet if you do not go to specialists and tell them about your problem, you risk living the same life as your mother or any other woman from your family. Never agree on a choice you are not satisfied with.

22. Your Family Makes You Live With Your Partner

You are already 30, 35, 40, etc. When are you going to find your spouse? When are you going to be happy? These questions make you sit quietly and not change anything. Is your partner abusive? Does he or she make you down? This is normal! Hide your ambitions because everyone lives like you, or you will stay alone forever.

These words can be uttered not only from your family but also from friends, relatives, etc. Don’t forget that you do not owe anybody anything, so only you can lead your life. If you are eager to divorce this person – do it! The family might blame you for a while, but you will be satisfied. Choose what is more important: approval or happiness?!

23. You Have a Terrible Fear of Changing Something In Your Life

This happens from time to time when you are completely in despair and do not know what to do. Fear of changes is rather natural, but if you understand that something is wrong, you should do something for your future.

It might be difficult but only in the beginning, and after that, you will feel the power to overcome all the terrible thoughts and move ahead.

The more you hurt yourself with a fearful relationship, the less time you have to improve the situation. Psychologists can assist you if you want it, so don’t stay silent!

24. Your Spouse Has a Mistress

If you know about this and do nothing, there are two options: either you are comically ignorant or you also have a lover on the wings, In all other cases, you will fight for your future and book it from the relationship that has hurt you so deeply.

Even if you just suspect this unpleasant truth, you’ve got to check it out and make an informed decision.

25. You Are Pregnant, But Your Spouse Is Against It

Pregnancy News

Not happy with the pregnancy news. Shutterstock Images

Certainly, if you didn’t plan the pregnancy, it can be a huge shock for your partner, but if he truly loves you, he will want a baby with you.

If this does not happen, if he threatens you or makes you get rid of a baby that you want to raise, your duty as a future mother is to tell someone. Do not let your husband kill your child and your faith in a better future. You will find another one who will be a good father and also will appreciate being with you.

26. You Have an Illness

If you are ill and you suppose that it is the only reason you deserve love, you are wrong. Everyone can be ill; many people have several incurable illnesses that they live with forever. Who told you that you won’t recover?

Is your partner just a tool for you? If not, you should find another partner and appreciate yourself for the first time. Some diseases can be cured. However, a soul cannot be!

27. You Endure Things Because of Children

You endure an abusive relationship only for the sake of the children, as you see them as the main reason for your life. This is wrong, as well.

Nobody but you can be your purpose in life. Children will grow up tomorrow, and you will become lonely and unhappy. Moreover, they can see how their father is treating their mom, and in the future, your children might have problems communicating with the opposite sex.

Do not let your children see your tears normalized, your sorrow and your grief justified, as they will never forgive you for that. Do not ruin your life and theirs to top it off.

28. Have You Ever Done Anything For Yourself?

Have you chosen a film before that you particularly like? A hair color you admire? A dress that captivated your mind? You don’t always have to be convenient for your spouse! They can do anything they want, but you always support them.

Why? What is the reason? It is high time to wake up and go marching towards your dream and your desire to be a happy man or woman. Do what you want, go where you want, eat what you are eager to right now! Life is too short to be concentrated on others.

29. They Have Changed

Inside or outside, but they did it! You should ask yourself whether you want to live with this type of personality? Should I head for the hills? It is your decision, and your decision only. And this decision is more than adequate. You have also changed, so do your best and love yourself for the first time.

See Also: How to Take Care of Yourself to Deal with Divorce or Relationship Breakup?

To Sum Things Up

Having discussed every single item above, we are happy to conclude that even in the most abusive of relationship, there is a chance of getting out. You should remember this, and never give up or live with a feeling of stress.

It can make you so unhappy that you can wonder why you even chose this person! So, always be beautiful and believe in yourself first and foremost!

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