What If He Likes You, But Doesn’t Want a Relationship?
Are you dating a guy who is sending mixed signals? Some days you think he really likes you, but other times you just aren’t sure. This leaves you feeling confused and insecure about your budding relationship.
You are not alone – this is a common problem that crops up often at the start of dating. Most women fret, worry and struggle to understand what a man is thinking about you. It’s totally normal, but it sure isn’t fun. The start of seeing a new guy is incredibly exciting and trying all at the same time.
Don’t Text or Call to Check-In
If you‘ve only had a few dates, the last thing you want is to be don’t be overly anxious about what he’s thinking. That can be misread by a new guy as clingy or desperate on your part. You’ve got to have your cool and appear confident! Avoid contacting him to check in or asking him directly where you stand.
When you’ve had less than six-eight dates, the best strategy is to distract yourself. Get online to meet other men, call a girlfriend, watch a movie, exercise, start a new project, or go out with friends. This is precisely why I recommend dating more than one man at a time. You don’t want to think too much about one particular guy until you know he’s worthy of your attention.
How to Know He Doesn’t Want a Relationship?
So, how can you tell if he wants a relationship or not? Well, there are several clues to watch for that can help you better understand a man’s intentions. Below are seven easy-to-spot behaviors that let you know even if he really doesn’t want a serious relationship.
1. He Tells You
A lot of guys tell you they don’t want a relationship. Right up front, they’ll say it when you first meet, “I’m not looking for anything serious.” Too bad most single women ignore this truth and push it aside. I’ve heard women explain they don’t put much stock in these words because they think this won’t apply to them once the guy gets to know them. But it does, and it will.
2. He Doesn’t Schedule Dates
He might text up a storm and it’s a lot of fun, but he doesn’t have time to get together. He talks about it and might make plans for the upcoming weekend. However, when the weekend rolls around, he never schedules anything, and he goes silent. This is definitely not the way a man who is seriously interested behaves.
3. He Lets You Do All the Work
The guy you are seeing seems to like you, but you’re doing all the work. Most often you text first or call once in a while. You ask him out, come up with a plan and pick the day and time. Maybe you buy tickets to events and send him sweet little texts. While he does always respond, he never seems to initiate much on his own.
This is a case where you are either not giving him enough time to see what he would do on his own, or he’s happy to go along for the ride as long as you are happy to do all the work. Either way, these are strong signals that he’s probably biding his time till someone better comes along. An alpha male who is serious about you and wants a relationship, will not let the woman initiate everything.
4. He Doesn’t Tell You Much
This guy seems into you, but he is a bit mysterious. How much do you really know about him and his life? He might be fun to talk to and ask all about your life, drawing you out and you willing tell all since he’s a great listener. But when it comes to him, you don’t learn a lot. When a man keeps his life close to the vest, he’s likely hiding something and not thinking long term about you.
5. He Has Time for His Friends
Your new guy has a lot of good friends and they are a big priority. That’s great when a man has a big social circle. However, if he was serious about you, he’d make time for you too. You know he’s not that into you when his friends always come first.
6. He Asks You Out Sporadically
Sometimes this man seems so into you , you feel like the luckiest woman in the world. He can be incredibly charming and fun. But his attention is very sporadic and he completely disappears for a couple of weeks, leaving you hanging and wondering what happened to him. There have been times when you worried if he was OK and reached out to make sure. Your fears were for nothing, he was just busy and not thinking about you.
7. He Keeps You to Himself
He never wants to meet your friends and hasn’t said a word about meeting his. He thinks it’s better with just the two of you and he wants you all to himself. This can be a signal that he likes you, but doesn’t want a relationship. In fact, he might even have another woman in his life and can’t be seen out with you.
If your guy is behaving this way, I’d be very suspicious and ask him specifically to take you out just to see how he handles it. You don’t want to be the other woman, so don’t put up with takeout and hopping into bed for every date. If he won’t take you out, don’t date him.
His Actions Matter Most
Each one of these behaviors can be irritating on its own. When you see several, then you know for sure he’s not that into you. His actions mean so much more about his plans with you than anything he might say. His true feelings are related to how much effort he makes to spend quality time with you.
You might feel like giving him more time, but this won’t help at all. As the days pass, you get more invested and attached, making it harder to move on. My advice is to see other men during the initial get-to-know-you phase. This way, if you want to continue dating this guy, you won’t get overly attached.
Should he suddenly make more of an effort to be with you, great! But if that doesn’t happen, at least you’re still seeing other guys, looking for the right man for you.
Many women want to date only one man at a time to give him a real chance. This is not the best strategy because it can waste so much time. And once you feel like you have a great connection, you’ll be even less inclined to break up or date others.
Plus, you’ll have recovery time to get over him and heal your broken heart if he disappears, keeping out of the dating scene potentially for months. To avoid all of this, keep your eyes open for these seven signs and believe them when you see them.
Don’t fool yourself or spend time hoping a man will change. He is who he is, and you deserve the kind of relationship you’ve always dreamed of. No settling!
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