You’ve been dating for awhile, you think she’s great (and so does everyone else) but you’re still not sure if she’s the best for you. How the heck do you know if the person you’re dating is “your” person?
The truth is that myself, your best friend, nor your parents can tell you whether or not she is right for you. That is a question that only YOU can answer.
What I can do is provide you with 10 helpful questions to ask yourself that can help YOU decide whether this girl is “your girl”.
Asking yourself the RIGHT questions can quickly help you figure out if this girl is wife/long-term material.
Here are the 10 questions to ask yourself that will help you decide if this girl is right for you. I don’t have these in any specific order as I think all are essential.
1. Does She Support You When You Need It?
We all need love and support from time to time. A bad day at work, being sick, a fight with friends, stresses of life… These are all times when she should be there for you to support and love you and potentially give you a kick in the butt if needed.
Does she do this? Or if you haven’t come up against these challenges, do you think she would?
2. Do Her Positives Outweigh The Negatives?
Anyone who tells you that you are meant to like EVERYTHING about your partner needs to be seriously medicated. Or they may already be heavily medicated which is why they think their partner is perfect.
You have to remember that we are all human and humans are all flawed. Even us godly women
If, from your POV, your girls positives, outweigh her negatives then she’s a keeper.
3. Does She Share Your Values Or Atleast Respect Them?
Values represent who you are and how you view the world. If she doesn’t share your core values or at least respect them, then this is not the girl for you.
4. Do You Treat* Others The Same Way?
It’s really important to look at how she treats* others. Right now you may be in lovey dovey zone and her best behavior is on display.
Watch how she treats* others in her life, even strangers to see if you guys to see eye to eye on the treatment of others. Listen, you may both be serious A-holes but at least you’re a-holes together
5. Does She Fit Into Your Life?
Yourself and the girl you choose don’t have to have completely meshing lives. In fact, it’s better if you don’t.
BUT deciding if she is right for you, take a seriously look at how she fits into your current life. Does she like your friends and family? Do they like you? Is she down on your lifestyle or does she celebrate it?
6. Do You Guys Have Things In Common Other Than Sex?
I’ve worked with so many men who continuously tried to salvage a relationship simply because of great sex. They worked so well in this one department and it was keeping them and their mate holding on even when it was obvious how incompatible they were.
Sex is a huge part of a relationship, but it’s not the only thing. If sex is the only thing and you require more in your life, then this girl is not for you. At least not for a long-term partnership where you will be dealing with life together.
7. Can You Communicate?
We’re all going to have differences. Different opinions, different backgrounds, different experiences, different ways of doing things…. But the way that you communicate about these differences is key to a long-lasting relationship.
Seriously ask yourself, can I talk to her about things that are important to me and does she listen? NOT quickly agree with me but listen and communicate back with me. Communication is the foundation of relationship.
8. Does She Accept You For You?
Everybody will wish their partners could be a little different. Trust me, I’ve tried to change many things about my man.
BUT I not only accept who he is as a person, I respect it. If your girl is constantly trying to change YOU or down on who you are, not in a motivational/supportive way, then this girl is probably not for you.
9. Do You Feel Comfortable Around Her?
Now this can be a tricky question to answer because you may be shy or uncomfortable and still warming up to showing your true self.
BUT at the core, does you feel like you need to put on an act around her and be someone you are not? Again, this may be your doing, but it’s something to pay attention to.
10. Do You Like Being Around Her?
This one should be easy to answer and a really important one. When you are with her, are you mostly happy? Do you enjoy being around her and do you want her to be around? If YES, then this is a good reason to continue being around and continue exploring if she is the ONE!
And that is my list of 10 questions to ask yourself if you are debating whether or not she is the girl for you.
I do have one final note that is super important. After you’ve asked these questions, I have one more question for you to ask yourself.
Bonus Questions: Is there potential for this girl to change my responses to any of the above if I talk to her about it?
As I’ve said numerous times throughout this article. We are all human. And we have grown up doing things and thinking a certain way. Doesn’t mean, we can’t change and grow.
Many people don’t express their concerns to their partners and they expect them to just magically change. If you think this girl could be the one, then give her a chance to know your concerns.
Talk to her kindly and see if things can shift. IF they can, then you’ve got a solid partner who is willing to work with you for the rest of your life.