Updated: 2019, Sep 7

Sexual Sadism Disorder: What Is It, Causes, And More!

Sexual Sadism Disorder

What is Sexual Sadism Disorder?

Let’s start by taking the word “disorder” out of the equation. One can be a Sexual Sadist without having a disorder. It is completely normal in the right setting, and there are millions of people across the globe that practice this lifestyle.

Chances are at some point in your life you have dabbled in this world as well! Ever been spanked or nibbled on your partner? If yes, then you have indulged in a small part of this world.

Well, what exactly is Sexual Sadism you might ask? This is just one part of the BDSM world; B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism). Sexual Sadism is when someone gets sexual arousal from causing physical pain or humiliation.

Just like someone who likes to give pain, there is someone on the other end who likes to receive pain. A Masochist is a person who gets sexual pleasure from receiving. These two parts become yin and yang and rely on each other to fulfill their sexual desires and needs.

Acts Of Sadism Might Include, But Are Not Limited To:

  • Tying someone up
  • Use of Chains
  • Clamps/Clothes pins
  • Handcuffs
  • Biting
  • Spanking
  • Flogging
  • Gags
  • Suspension
  • Controlled Orgasm
  • Masks/Blindfolds
  • Verbal Humiliation
  • Breath Control
  • Wax play
  • Role-play
  • Electro-stimulation (electrical stimulation to nerves of the body)
Acts of Sadism

What Makes A WORKING S/M Relationship?

When in a S/M relationship the key is to be SSC – Safe, Sane and Consensual. If at any point these 3 requirements are not met then you need to stop. All parties involved need to be Consensual (willing to participate), Sane (sober, of age, mentally able to understand what they are doing) and lastly Safe (within the realm of the activity).

If you meet all these then you are ready to move forward with your partner and set up your Hard/Soft limits – what you are and are not willing to do. You set up a safe word, a word that lets your partner know when something is too much or out of your co/general-health/10-tips-for-managing-your-life-in-relationship.htmlmfort zone.

Safe words allow you to signal your partner without breaking or detracting from your session. You respect each other and have a mutual goal for ALL parties to achieve satisfaction.

How To Get Started?

Talk.

Talk to your partner.

Let them know what you want and want to do. Set a limit that satisfies both your needs. Keep talking. Open and honest communication is the key to any relationship, sexual or otherwise. Talk before and talk after. Let your partner know how you felt about your session and listen to how they feel.

As stated prior you will talk with your partner about what you want to do. You both then need to set Hard and Soft Limits. Hard limits are the things you absolutely will not do and if doing so it will end the “playtime” immediately or could cause the end of a relationship. These could be anything from no tying up of the legs due to an injury or no blindfolding if you have claustrophobia.

Following this, you set soft limits or things you might be hesitant about or have strict conditions on. Even with soft limits, there is permission given prior to participating in the actual act.

These could be things such as a sore back that is tender and needs to be treated tenderly or it could be that you place anal in this category and need the circumstance to be a certain way.

There are also clubs you can go to that specialize in this lifestyle. Here you can meet other like-minded people and engage in sex-positive conversations.

If you go looking for a ‘play session’ don’t assume everyone there will be ready and willing to take you on and fulfill your fantasies. Not everyone is a right fit and just like in dating you need to find your match.

Most people there are also likely already with their other half and aren’t looking for a new partner. Go in open-minded and get to know those involved and open up a conversation.

Play Session

What are the Causes?

There are no known causes as to why someone may be inclined to Sexual Sadism. It could be that person feels powerless in their day-to-day life, and this gives them a sense of power.

They could have watched porn and became very aroused. They may have had a partner who was a Masochist and in exploring they realized they had an inclination towards Sexual Sadism. There is no right or wrong answer. It’s completely ok if you are and completely ok if you aren’t.

When Sexual Sadism Is Abuse?

As stated before Sexual Sadism shouldn’t be viewed as a disorder, but if at any point someone is being humiliated, tied up, spanked or gagged and they DIDN’T give permission – this IS abuse. The person doing these things only cares about their sexual gratification regardless of the harm caused to someone else.

These are the people who need help. They can work with the therapist or psychologists to find the right therapy that works for them.

When it comes down to it, if you are Safe, Sane and Consensual and so is your partner(s) then go for it! Have a bit of fun; give that butt a little or large smack!

Image Credits
Featured Image: Shutterstock
In-Post Images: Shutterstock
Author

Dr. Kimberly Uttley

Dr. Kimberly Uttley is a Clinical Sexologist and Sex Educator. She maintains an open-minded, non-judgmental and sex-positive attitude a

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