Updated: 2019, Jul 30

The 6 Most Common Sexual Problems and Maintaining Healthy Sexuality

The 6 Most Common Sexual Problems and Maintaining Healthy Sexuality

Good sex is one of the key elements of a healthy relationship, because emotional and sexual intimacy are necessary to sustain other aspects of the relationship. The quality of what happens in the bedroom, depends largely on the quality of what happens outside of the bedroom and visa-versa.

Sex is supposed to be one of the supreme joys of life, so when it doesn’t go right, it can be devastating. You might feel ashamed, discouraged, and defeated. Of course, you can try to ignore your sexual feelings and say to yourself, “Sex really isn’t that important.” For some people it may not be. They compensate by throwing themselves into other activities, such as work, sport, or exercise. A few know deep down that they are fooling themselves. They lose some of their zest for life, and their relationship may become hostile, distant or ordinary and dull.

Although sex is but one component of many in a relationship, it has an effect on all the other components, like communication, conflict and feelings of connectedness. Sex is the cement connecting and balancing all the other components.

” We’ve been married five years and I have never had an orgasm”. “With two little kids and a demanding career, I am just too tired to have sex”. “I don’t really enjoy sex; I just want to get it over with”.

This is but a few comments sexologist’s often hear in their consulting room. There are many couples who live normal lives who battle to have a healthy sex life. You may have a sexual problem or you might just want to enrich your sex life. Then this level is for you. To enrich and enhance your sex life as an important component of a healthy marriage. Completing the questionnaires and exercises will reveal many things about yourself and your partner and doing the love play exercises at home will bring you closer together. Couples can revive their sex lives by refocusing on each other, being more mindful and by bringing back fun, humor, and laughter in their sex lives!

The good news is that sexual problems are treatable and you can overcome them.

Make a commitment to your love life. When you do, you’ll be reaffirming your commitment to your relationship, to the discovery (or rediscovery) of your sexual self, and to the joy of loving each other.

What Causes Sexual Problems?

Causes Sexual Problems

If you experience any of the below mentioned sexual problems it is important to consult with a specialist in the field such as a sexologist. The treatment of sexual dysfunctions is specialized and in most cases multi-faceted. Any possible medical issues contributing to the problem also need to be eliminated and or treated.

Generally, sexual problems are caused by a combination of some of the following factors:

  • Hormonal Imbalances
  • Medication
  • Medical issues (Menopause, Diabetes, Cancer, Heart Disease ext)
  • Oral Contraception
  • Lack of knowledge and experience
  • Sexual Inhibition
  • Fatigue
  • Conflict and relationship problems
  • Boredom
  • Distorted Body Image
  • Performance Anxiety
  • Guilt and shame
  • Past Sexual Trauma

The 6 Most Common Sexual Problems:

The Sexual Dysfunction

1. Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is defined as the inability to attain or maintain an erection that is strong enough for satisfactory sexual intercourse. Erectile dysfunction can be an indication of a serious cardiac incident within 3- 5 years and is therefore an important problem to address. Psychological problems can also result in erectile dysfunction, especially feelings of inadequacy and performance anxiety.

2. Delayed Ejaculation

The male consummationic disorder involves a persistent and repeated delay or absence of orgasm following enough stimulation. Some men with delayed ejaculation are unable to ejaculate at all. Male orgasmic disorder will be a womb-to-tomb condition or one that’s nonheritable when a amount of traditional sexual functioning. The condition will be restricted to sure things or will occur typically. Causes may well be physical conditions like cardiopathy, psychological causes like performance anxiety, relationship problems, lack of sexual confidence or attributable to the utilization of sure medications like antidepressants.

3. Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation may be a common sexual grievance, whereby a person ejaculates (and usually orgasms) within one minute of penetration. It is likely to be caused by a combination of psychological factors such as guilt or anxiety, and biological factors such as hormone levels or nerve damage.

4. Lack of Interest in Sex

Low libido is a very common problem amongst both men and women, but it is often difficult to determine the cause. It is usually caused by various factors – problems from your past (like past sexual trauma), current psychological issues (depression and anxiety), chronic fatigue, boredom, relationship issues, medication, hormonal imbalances (especially low Testosterone levels) as well as medical and gynecological conditions like painful intercourse.

Lack of Interest in Sex

5. Inability to Achieve Orgasm

The absence of having orgasms in women is also referred to as anorgasmia. It can be divided into primary anorgasmia, when a woman had never experienced an orgasm, and secondary anorgasmia, when a woman who previously experienced orgasms no longer do so. 10-15% of women have never had an orgasm. Finding it difficult to switch off, psychological issues (anxiety), not feeling emotionally connected to your partner, painful sex, medication and past sexual trauma might contribute to this problem. It is also important to note that it takes on average 15 minutes or more for a woman to reach orgasm where it takes on average 4 minutes for a man. This is why foreplay is crucial.

6. Sexual Pain and Penetration Disorders

There are much sexual pain and penetration disorders in women especially and the good news is that it can be treated very successfully. Women might experience pain with penetration when the pelvic floor muscles involuntary go into spasm (vaginismus) for example. It is very important to seek professional help from a specialized treatment team as sexual pain is never normal and never in your head!

If you experience any of these sexual problems you should seek help from a professional and registered sexologist or health care practitioner specializing in the field. Sexual dysfunctions and problems can be treated successfully.

You May Also Like To Read: 3 Solutions To Bring Sex Back Into Life

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Dr. Elmari Mulder Craig

Dr. Elmari Mulder Craig is Past President and Director of The Southern African Sexual Health Association (SASHA) and Scientific Advisor

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