5 Do’s and Don’ts for Sexual Encounters

You and your partner just had the best sex you've had in years (cheers!) Read the following tips to get everything you ever wanted from your sex life.
sexual encounter

Whether you are looking to intensify the passion in your marriage, to increase intimacy with your partner, or for casual sex, keep this list of dos and don’ts in the back of your mind for incredible sex that will take your sex life to the next level.

DO’s

1. Embrace Sexual Tension

Contrary to popular belief, sex doesn’t start once you have your clothes off. It begins with flirtation; a glance across the bar, a long kiss in the kitchen, a stroke of their knee when they’re telling a story.

The buildup continues once the clothes start to come off but even then, the anticipation can be just as sensual as sex itself. Spend some time kissing or caressing your partner everywhere except their breast and genitals. Take your time, it will drive them mad (in a good way)!

2. Communicate

Tell your partner what you like using positive reinforcement. Criticism can really ruin the mood. Instead of focusing on the negative let your partner know what you do like and make it obvious! A simple moan works if you’re shy, or you can verbally tell them that what they are doing is exactly what you want.

3. Use Your Imagination

Get creative on how to pleasure each other. He’s not reaching your clitoris? Use a vibrator. She feels uncomfortable when in your favorite position? Try giving her a sex pillow for more support.

Dress up, use a new kind of lubricant, pull hair, wear a blindfold, role-play, the options are endless when you use your imagination. Think of it as play and have fun with it!

4. Ask For Permission

Getting kinky is all good until you move beyond someone’s boundaries. Always verbally ask for consent for all sex acts and wait for a verbal Especially if it’s a new partner, make sure you get the verbal confirmation for every new sex act. If not, slow it down and let them tell you what they want instead.

Sexy Talk

5. Sexy Talk

We all know that dirty talk can be arousing but perhaps there is a specific way your partner would like to be talked to. Try different versions of sexy talk and focus on your partner’s reaction. Maybe your partner wants you to talk about specific parts of his body, or it turns him on for you to talk to him about your body parts.

On the other hand, maybe what would turn your partner on the most is simple, “I love you” while having sex. Or go down memory lane about a hot night of sex you two shared. Remember, sexy talk can be as dirty or as loving as you want it to be because as long as it’s turning your partner on, it’s working!

DON’TS

1. Forget About Foreplay

Done right, foreplay can be the answer to all your sexual difficulties. It assists in relaxation and increases blood flow that is needed to achieve an erection and vaginal lubrication. Too often, people rush into penetrative sex and forget all about foreplay.

While quickies can be amazing too, foreplay gives partners a chance to warm up to each other’s touch and adds a sexual tension that long-term relationships can find themselves lacking in. When sex becomes routine, there is nothing like a sensual massage, oral sex, make out session, or digital sex to really get your partner going.

2. Go Beyond Your Boundaries

Even if you aren’t going to see this person ever again it is still important to be comfortable with your choices during sex. Always remember that you can always say yes to some things and that doesn’t mean you are saying yes to everything.

Just because you said yes to sex on Saturday night does not mean you have to say yes Sunday morning. If at any time you are uncomfortable, assert yourself and let it be known.

Orgasm

3. Make Orgasm The Goal

Be in the moment, enjoy it. Release yourself of the pressure to come because that is not what sex is about. Sex is about pleasure, not performance. Let go of your need to please your partner by rewarding them with your orgasm. Both women and men feel pressure to come during sex causing performance anxiety.

Be at ease with the knowledge that your pleasure is about you. When you give yourself permission not to come, you can enjoy the full spectrum of the sexual encounter. Your senses will be heightened making every heartbeat, breath, moan, and feeling more intense than ever before.

4. Use The Same Old Tricks

Every partner you will ever have is different from the last. The technique you mastered with your ex may do absolutely nothing for your new partner. While previous sexual experiences are good for increasing your confidence and an awareness of how you like to be pleasured, be sure to think of each sexual experience as a sensual exploration of your partner’s body. Find new erogenous zones, experiment with various ways to give pleasure, and be attentive to their verbal and physical pleasure responses.

Read Next: Exclusive Tips For Feeling Intimacy When You Don’t Feel Good

5. Take It Too Seriously

Everyone has an embarrassing sex story; falling off the bed, farting, teeth clanking together during an attempt at a passionate kiss, using too much lubricant, forgetting to take off your socks, realizing you haven’t groomed in months, the list goes on and on. Remember, sex is about pleasure, not perfection. When something embarrassing happens, laugh it off, remain confident, and keep the good times going!

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Author

Contributor : Rossana Sida (Consumer Health Digest)

This Article Has Been Published on October 3, 2018 and Last Modified on October 18, 2018

Rossana Sida is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #98581, a PsyD candidate at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology, and a sex and relationships specialist. Located in Los Angeles, Rossana Sida and supervisor Dr. Suzanne Pelka, LMFT, successfully treat individuals and couples with sexual dysfunctions and relationship issues. You can learn more about Rossana Sida at www.rossanasida.com. You can Follow her on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.

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