Is It Good To Have Sex With An Older Woman?

What it takes and what it's like to have sex with older women? Find out!

Have you considered a relationship with an older woman? A relationship with a striking age difference that is often seen dare we say scandalous in the eyes of the society?

Is It Good To Have Sex With An Older Woman?
Should you have sex with older women? Shutterstock Images

Let’s explore the aspects of having sex (and maybe more) with an older woman.

1. The Players

  • The Age Difference.

Let’s begin by setting the stage for the players and establishing the rules of the game.

Rule Number One: You must be at least seven years apart in age.

Anything less and you’re simply not very different from each other.

The relationship dynamic discussed in this article assumes that you did not graduate from college in the same year and that you basically come from two different planets – she counts VHS or Beta tapes as the cutting edge technology of her youth.

You stream movies from Netflix.

  • The Age Limit

She can be of any age, though we would guess most female players in this game are under 70. As for you…you should be under 30.

If you are any older, the generational gap between you two will simply not hold up to the mystique surrounding your union.

You will have too much in common when it comes to life experience.

You will be knowledgeable about the same U.S. Presidential elections since both of you have voted in at the same time.

We’re talking a striking age difference in this article, a la Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate.

2. What’s In It For Him?

  • Biology.
Unadulterated Passion

What’s awaiting you is pure unadulterated passion, without major obligations.

Most likely, your older paramour is hardly dying to have three kids with a young lover and build a nest in a sleepy suburb.

No, she craves you for something very, very different. She is a grown woman and she knows exactly what she wants – drawn-out foreplay in the bedroom, not a drawn-out courtship.

An older woman is interested in having raw, no holds barred sex with you, not taking you to meet the parents and learning all there is to know about you before she succumbs to your advances.

Men grow more pragmatic and inflexible with age. On the other hand, women get “riper and sweeter” – she knows herself well by now; she is more experienced and has thrown her inhibitions out the window.

Her self-awareness is very high, too. She’s grown more imaginative and has many fantasies – fantasies she wants you to fulfill.

She has waited long enough to make them come true and doesn’t want to wait any longer.

She is ready to do everything that you and your schoolmates joked about in your college dorm just a few years ago.

And guess what? She already has real-life experience in playing out these fantasies.

You may think you don’t blush easily — just wait until your older lover lays it all out for you.

This mindset shift usually takes place when she approaches 40.

It’s simple biology – her libido spikes as the end to her reproductive years draw nearer.

Her body is screaming for sex. Her hormones are raging while her fears, modesty, and unsureness recede.

  • Psychology.

She has style, self-confidence, and many other characteristics of a well-rounded, fully-matured woman who knows who she is and what she wants.

You will be hard-pressed to find such a collection of traits in your female peers who are still just traveling down the path toward “ripeness.”

Remember, the older the berry, the sweeter the juice!

3. What’s In It For Her?

  • Biology
potential peaks

Male reproductive potential peaks between the ages of 20 and 30.

From a biological viewpoint, the best time for you to produce offspring is when you’ve got your nose in the books in college and are taking the first steps in your budding career.

You can’t deny evolution – for much of the human existence, males did not live nearly as long as they do now, so your body is optimized for early fatherhood.

What do we mean by reproductive potential?

Sex. You want to have sex, a lot of it. You want it raw. Salacious. In as many ways and on as many surfaces as you can.

What a coincidence that is precisely what your older lady longs for.

But not to worry – she is hardly looking to start a family with you. No, what she is looking for is to satisfy both of your hunger for lust.

Another thing younger men have going for them is their ability to get hard and stay hard. You’re not plagued by the erectile dysfunction issues of her peers (we hope!). You’re young and virile.

Just be aware that ultimately, she’s using you. She’s a consumer of sorts. And you? You’re an accessory a luxury item that she wants to use for her pleasure.

As long as you know what you’re getting yourself into, there’s no reason not to take the leap!

  • Psychology

For her, your relationship dynamic feels comfortable and relaxed. A lover around her same age would insist on teaching her about how to live her life; work and other obligations weigh heavily on him, demanding much of his attention.

But with a young lover, she can shape him around her needs and easily work him into her daily routine.

After all, he probably feels like he owes her — she chose him to enjoy mind-blowing sex with!

So you will be easy-going, accommodating her needs in and out of the bedroom.

Rest assured, it will be easy for you two to agree on the number of drawers she designates as ‘his’ in her closet.

What else is in it for her in this relationship arrangement? A greater feeling of self-worth. Despite her youthful looks and enviably toned physique, she is well aware of her age.

She is beginning to wonder what it will feel like to be the last choice as a player in the field of lovers.

When she sees younger women, she thinks of you in her bed and her inner voice delightfully says, “You may be younger, but I haven’t lost my touch because he still chose me!”

4. Who is She?

Successful. Stylish. Trendy. A sophisticated metropolitan woman with an established career and the means to take great care of herself.

She has a good education, which helps her attract a younger lover with her mind as well as her looks. All this gives her a strong sense of self-worth without which she would never have the confidence to start a relationship with a younger man.

5. Potential Problems

Potential Problems

Get ready to be judged. Yes, you can do what you want with your life. Life is too short not to follow your heart’s desires.

But people will still judge you especially those close to you. Sometimes, that can cause big problems.

Also, be prepared for your youthful inexperience to frustrate her at times.

Remember that as the older person in the relationship, she will often have to assume the traditional male leadership role.

In the beginning, she was drawn in by the easy and passionate nature of your arrangement.

But eventually, she will come to realize that it means she has to take on the responsibility for both of you.

6. The Outlook

  • If Things Turn Out Badly…

Not surprisingly, this type of relationship often ends in a breakup.

Interestingly, the younger man usually finds it more difficult to leave this type of arrangement than he would if he were with someone his own age because he knows that for an older woman the breakup will be more painful.

With every passing year, her chances of finding a new, steady relationship will decline.

It is possible that you are her last long-term love!

Either way, you both chose to enter into this arrangement and you both knew the potential consequences.

Be prepared to remain friends and don’t be hasty to part ways for good.

Also See: 11 Signs You Are Dating The Right Person

  • If Things Turn Out Well…
Older Lover Tends

This type of relationship can have a happy ending (and does more often than not) because the type of man who is attracted to an older lover tends to be a one-woman man when it comes to love and commitment.

Men who like to play the field will pursue the hottie in skimpy, tight shorts – they will not be interested in an older woman.

The longer a union marked by a large age difference goes on, the more the apparent ‘gap’ between the two will narrow.

Lovers grow closer over time; their interests and habits grow increasingly together too.

You are like a fountain of youth for your older lady, as her physiology adjusts to yours.

As for you, you will outpace your peers in getting rid of all that nonsense in your head and showing real maturity.

As you can see, there are benefits to everyone involved when it comes to relationships with older women.

If you get the rare opportunity to be with an older woman, you have to seize the day! You never know where it might lead the both of you.

You May Also Like To Read: How To Be More Sexually Active As you Age


Courtney Cleman


Courtney is a relationship and life strategy coach, as well as the Co-Founder of TheV.Club, a New York City-based sex education concept