Lately I have been going on a lot of dates. Dating is always a fascinating experience to me as it seems that we humans are always looking for one thing through it. Connection.
Bet you thought I was going to say sex, huh?
The reality is that even when we go out looking for a quick ‘hook up’ we are looking for more than just the sexual encounter. We are searching for connection if even for just a flicker in time with a stranger.
Yet, we still want this connection. We want to feel alive and to be seen and felt. We desire the sensations of orgasm for how it elevates us. The stress release that it provides and the deep relaxation it can bring to the body.
Orgasm for women starts prior to any genital touching. Orgasm starts during the foreplay process, potentially hours before the sexing ever happens. Women have been documented showing orgasm hormones releasing during a kiss, caress of the shoulder, leg or hair.
The reason behind this is that for a woman to a have a real orgasm not just a quick clitoral release or climax there must be emotional connection.
It is important to realize that all sex is about emotion though. You cannot walk into any sexual encounter without some emotion about it. Like Deepak Chopra states, “Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.”
When we look at all the health benefits of sex and why our bodies will crave it, we must become conscious that men and women are quite different when it comes to the emotions around sex and thus around the ability to orgasm.
Often in my coaching practice I meet women in their 40’s who will admit to me that they have either never had an orgasm, have been faking it for years with their partner, flat out believe that they are non-orgasmic or that it simply takes too long to get them there so why bother?
On the reverse, I meet men who are wanting more intimacy, connection and physical attention. They are wanting sex but they are wanting something more as well. Unfortunately, all they know is the concept of physical sex where you focus on the mechanics and many were never taught about the emotion of sex.
It is a pretty for sure assumption that when a man has sex that he will have an orgasm, unlike his female partner who will more than likely struggle to achieve it for multiple reasons and end up faking it as she does not know how to get out of her head and accept that the emotion that she is hiding from is the emotion that she needs to have the orgasm.
Once men and women can lean into the emotion of sex and let it carry them away into each other, they then increase all the wonderful benefits of having sex outside of emotional connection.
10 Benefits of Having Sex – (Benefits Increase with Orgasm and Emotional Connection)
1. Makes You Look Younger – I love this benefit and it is so true. I am not speaking about the afterglow of sex either, although that is always nice. Science is showing that people who have regular sex (twice a week) look on average 7 to 12 years younger and sometimes more.
This is because during sex our body’s release the hormone DHEA which tells our bodies to stay alive.
This vital hormone is responsible for healthy sleep, hormone function, libido and yes, the fountain of youth for our skin, eyes, and hair as well. After an orgasm levels of DHEA increase by five times their normal level.
2. Better Night’s Sleep – According to Saralyn Mark, M.D., associate professor of medicine and OB/GYN at the Yale School of Medicine, “It all has to do with hormone production during intercourse, “she reported to Women’s Health , which also reveals that sex boosts the production of euphoric oxytocin and decreases the production of the stress hormone cortisol.
This conversion leaves the body in a relaxed state, making it easier for you to fall asleep. On top of this, estrogen levels also increase, which can enhance a woman’s REM cycle for a deeper sleep, according to a study published in the Journal of Women’s Health.
3. Bye-Bye Cold – If you are prone to colds, allergies and sniffy noses, then look for the cure between your sheets.
Having sex once or twice a week raises the level of immunoglobulins (IgA) in the body, increasing protection against colds and flu. Sex is also a natural antihistamine, therefore can help with allergies and asthma.
4. Regulates Hormones – Got low T-count? Got a wonkie menstrual cycle? Regular sex helps to restore proper function and balance of hormones.
Sex also helps to regulate your monthly cycle. Some women suffer from extreme cycles or cycles that are unpredictable. By having regular sex, you can lighten your flow and get your cycle back to a normal routine.
5. Burns Calories – Most fun exercise you can have! Unless 15 minutes on the treadmill sounds better to you that is. Because that is the comparison.
You choose how you want to burn 200 calories for that flatter stomach. I know what I am going with.
6. Heart Health – Sex equals cardiovascular health. Men and women both benefit from this. Regular sex (two times a week) has been shown to reduce risk of heart issues. Two orgasms a week can lower your chances of heart disease by 30%.
7. Lowers Blood Pressure – Studies have shown that particularly intercourse, more so than masturbation or other forms of sexual play have been shown to reduce systolic blood pressure, which is the first number on you reading.
8. Helps Ease Depression – Why are women so cray-cray? Maybe the answer to not being cray-cray is sex?
Dr. Stephanie Buehler in Sex, Love, and Mental Illness shares, “When a person has an orgasm alone or with a partner, it gives a boost to serotonin and raises endorphins and opioids, the brain’s so-called happy chemicals,” therefore regular release of these happy chemical’s eases depression, anxiety, and stress.
9. Better Than Aspirin – Sex is known for its pain relief benefits. Got a headache? Got PMS? “Orgasm can block pain,” says Barry R. Komisaruk, PhD, by reducing hormones that help raise our pain threshold.
10. Helps With Fertility Issues – Are you a couple wanting to have a baby? Well get to the sex, but not just for what you already know about the birds and the bee’s but because regular sex improves the quality of men’s sperm and on the flip side regular orgasm helps a woman become more fertile grounds by keeping the cervix softer, the blood flow healthy and her hormone levels regulated.
In conclusion, our bodies crave sex for some amazing reasons. It would appear that Marilyn Monroe had it right when she said, “Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature,” as should you. Enjoying sex just twice a week and focusing on emotional connection during it as well as between our encounters can contribute to living healthier, longer, more vibrant lives and ensures we have a smile on our face.
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