“Let’s try something freaky tonight.” Okay, what comes to mind? Licking chocolate off one another’s body parts is always on my mind (okay, I love chocolate, almost more than I love sex and sex-related body parts).
But there’s another totally-WTF sex tip that’s making the rounds lately. If you want to up your game, you might want to try it.
So, ladies…you’ve heard of this oral sex technique involving a grapefruit, right? And you laughed, right? Just WHY? Because of the Internet, of course. I agree everything about it feels unnatural and strange.
But if you’re curious, I recommend giving it a try…go in with a fun attitude, persevere, and don’t take yourself too seriously. Yup, it’s unusual…trying to be sexy while cutting a penis-sized hole into a grapefruit isn’t going to feel sexy.
But indeed, people have been incorporating food into our sex lives for ages (whipped cream and strawberries, anyone? Donuts being used in a way that Krispy Kreme never intended?). Personally, I’m totally into grapefruit flavored anything (if it’s in a drink, gimme. A face wash, I’m buying! Grapefruits are pretty, smell amazing, and taste delicious. What’s not to love?).
It’ll be a weirder experiment than you can imagine, but heck, it isn’t often that you get to try something this bizarre. What’s your realm of normalcy? I’m betting this is outside it, for most of us.
I pride myself on being comfortable with sexuality (I talk about my sex life online, where my parents could easily Google it!), and I sure do love food (Michelin star restaurants turn me on, no joke), but combining my two passions never did much for me.
But for many, food and sex combine to heighten sensory pleasure.
First off, it’ll be messy…think washing grapefruit pulp out of your hair later. It’ll be sticky (juice is going to get everywhere), so the aftermath won’t be gorgeous. Get out the towels and lay him on them, unless you like ruining your high thread count sheets!
On a positive note, there will be the taste of fruit. Who doesn’t enjoy that? Pro tip: head over to a good grocery store and get a sweet (think less* bitter, i.e. less* horrible) grapefruit.
So some men describe the sensation as being like having sex and getting a blow job, at the same time (get ready to barf: it’s because the grapefruit feels “fleshy”).
But if your man is apprehensive about trying this or didn’t like grapefruit before, telling him that it feels like being orally AND vaginally pleasured, is probably going to convince him to try it.
The experts recommend a blindfold (and keeping the whole adventure a secret to the recipient), but if you don’t want to do that or don’t have a blindfold handy, it seems fine to leave none of this to his imagination.
Admittedly for guys, though, it’s probably easier to enjoy it when you’re not looking at your woman (it can be a bit of a buzzkill to watch her going to town on a piece of fruit). Perhaps just ask your guy to close his eyes? I tried to blindfold the recipient (tribute? Victim?) of this trial when I did it, but he freaked out, hollered that he no longer trusted me (but still wanted that blowjob), sighed and then agreed to sort-of shut his eyes. Fair enough.
You’re probably wondering: after trying to suck a sour penis, what if we want to finish by regular sex to completion? Will my vagina feel like it’s on fire? Wonderfully, mine didn’t. I sure thought it would.
You’re going to want to be careful if you switch to vaginal or anal intercourse after grapefruiting, as duh, grapefruit juice is acid.
A few more tips (don’t ask me how I learned these):
- use a condom if you want to be sure not to let that very-acidic grapefruit juice enter his urethra (it can burn)
- check for allergies (not every guy’s skin will tolerate contact with the grapefruit…allergies are rare but real and serious
- if you need to “pregame” with a regular blowjob or handjob, to get him hard enough to apply the grapefruit, be careful…any micro-tears from your teeth or nails will sting badly once you put the grapefruit on him
- make sure the grapefruit isn’t too cold before working with it (cutting it will be too difficult, and your man won’t want cold fruit on his junk)
- make sure the hole you cut in the grapefruit is large enough (too tight will cause burning*—no Bueno!)
- slice the grapefruit vertically, and slide it over his penis using a twisting motion with your hands. Gently!
- move the grapefruit up and down on his shaft while you’re sucking
- be VERY careful that neither of you gets squirted in the eye because stinging is a serious buzzkill.
For more info, search on Youtube for the “Angel grapefruit technique” (you need to be over 18 to view the video). It’s gotten millions of views and some pretty hilarious commentary.
Will it be exciting? Maybe. Will it be funny? Absolutely. Will you want to do it again? Probably not (it’ll lack the spontaneity that makes it so interesting). But that’s all part of the fun…if you can’t laugh during sex; you’re having sex with the wrong person.
Sex with your man shouldn’t make you laugh ALL the time, but sometimes funny awkward stuff happens (like putting grapefruit on his dong). Neither of us died of shame…chalk another one up to experience.
Ladies, don’t blame me if your man leaves you for a grapefruiting after he gets over the hilarity factor and notices how great it feels. Unless, of course, grapefruits are already selling out at record numbers at your local grocery store.
Spending a buck on a grapefruit to spice things up, rather than trying pricy sex toys or other methods that might be relationship-damaging? Count all adventurous couples in, I suspect.
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In-Post Image: Images given by author