My Anxiety At School
Hello, my name is Larissa, and I am 17. I have been suffering from anxiety since I was young although teachers and my parents used to label it as shyness rather than a disorder in itself.
I thought I would write about my experiences with anxiety at school, I have moved schools a few times and so have had a variety of experiences!
The junior school is when my anxiety started. I have always been a bit of a shy person, but I went to a school with lots of loud and sometimes quite nasty people. I began to dread school which was a shame as I do love learning new things.
I remember hiding in the cloakroom, begging my mum to let me go home as I hated the environment.
I eventually moved schools to a larger school which had a much more chilled out environment, it had a big field and lots of vegetable patches which made me happy. My anxiety got a lot better, although I was still shy I was much more comfortable with myself.
My first high school which was mixed. This is when my anxiety got very bad. I got picked on for my weight a bit (although I have always been a healthy weight) and for being shy. I found it very difficult to even walk around the school or stay calm in lessons as I thought I would get picked on!
I also felt very anxious in pe as we had classes by gender and most of the people picking on me were girls, and so I began to dread pe. Moving schools can be very difficult in itself, but it can be very helpful if you are in a desperate position!
My current school which is single sex. I found it difficult to get used to as I have mostly been friend with guys in the past but it was the best decision for me as I had to move away from the toxic environment at my last school and this school seemed like the best fit.
My anxiety has improved* a lot since I moved schools, but it has not gone completely. I still feel anxious when I am stressed doing essays or sometimes before exams, (I am better in the exam room). I sometimes feel anxious around crowds of people at school such as in the canteen or the common room, but I usually sit in smaller rooms with friends.
Certain classes make me feel anxious if some of the people in the classes make me feel uncomfortable, but I usually try and sit with people I feel more comfortable with. A club which has helped to improve* my anxiety is model United Nations where you research countries view on particular topics and try to represent the country.
This helped me make me more confident in debating and public speaking as lots of the committees revolved around issues I am interested in!
I am currently in my last year of high school and looking back my anxiety had improved* a lot since junior school. However, I still have a long way to go but getting over anxiety is a journey.
I am very excited for the university as it is a fresh start and a way for me to have more control over my anxiety. I am excited to be able to have more control over my routine: to be able to get up when I like, have more freedom of where and when to do work, have more of a chance to see your lecturers and mostly to work with students who are interested in the same things as me.
I am also very scared too: I am scared to be meeting other students and to make a good impression on lecturers. I am also anxious about having to do lots of public speaking with students who are more confident than I am but I think it will be a great challenge for me and one which I will find very interesting too.
Also, joining new clubs too. At school, I know everyone in my year and so being in an environment where you may not know anyone will be very scary but I want to do clubs I enjoy and hopefully meet lots of new people whilst doing them.
If anyone is interested, I am hoping to study law at university with hopefully a year abroad. I would like to become possibly a property or employment lawyer as I have found I enjoy the structure of contacts and being able to adapt them to a client.
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