First, let me begin my story from the beginning. I came from crazy and experienced trauma, but managed to find my way to peace and bliss in life.
I now have the chance to share some of my story, which brought me to my passion to be of service as a mental health therapist and a healer.
This is based on truth and only the tip of the iceberg. My life was a challenge and I suffered so. A young girl, whose mother did not want her, leaving her to die in the hospital at age 2.
Thank God for my father and the doctor who saved me. I endured a subdural hematoma, fluid on the brain, and to this day, I am blind in my left eye.
There is no known way to restore my vision. My biological mother was and I believe still is to this day an addict, who has yet to establish any form of a relationship as a mother. I felt abandoned, unloved and unworthy of being loved.
I managed to find my way to escape through alcohol and promiscuity, soon after the sexual assault at age 12. No Charges were ever made. No one ever knew. Karma did prevail in this case, and sadly, he was taken from this planet after a deadly car accident around age 21.
The continuation of self-destruction and lack of self-worth was prominent. Unhealthy relationships, physically, sexually and emotionally abusive.
One boyfriend locked me in the bathrooms and threatened my life. I was young and naive, and at that time had no idea that what he did was a crime.
I didn’t realize the affect this abuse had had on my self-esteem and my worth as an individual, until later in life. I still managed to find my way, graduated high school and went on to college and received my bachelor’s degree in psychology.
I got married to my childhood sweetheart and we had 2 children, amazing boys. After 6 years, we were divorced. He became a professional gambler and is currently incarcerated.
I believe, looking back now, he is a sociopath. I ignored the red flags initially, but realized after time (and therapy), that I loved myself more to stay in such an unhealthy relationship.
I did not want my boys to see this as an example of what a marriage was, because we were merely roommates, fought constantly, and grew apart.
I write and share this so others can see that we all have a story. We all have suffered and many experience trauma. But there are ways to help yourself and to find the peace you so deserve. Even a therapist needs a therapist.
While I was in my graduate studies, I sought therapy. She helped me find my voice and my worth. I divorced my neglectful and abusive husband, only to bounce into another unhealthy relationship, this time with an alcoholic.
That one lasted about 18 months. He left after he punched two holes in the wall. What was I doing? Not loving myself, that’s what. I later found my spirituality. I started meditating and I enrolled in a 200hr training and certification class for yoga.
Yoga and meditation helped ground and center me. I found myself. I went to a Reiki class and that’s where it all changed. I met captain mike at that class and it was instant chemistry. We fell in love with each other.
It was an amazing love, a blissful love. Our hearts beat as one, kind of love. He was a real man’s man, a true alpha male. I was the happiest I had ever been in my entire life. Tragically, he was taken prematurely and died in a car accident after dating for 2 years. Yes, this really happened. I can’t make this up. I became numb.
I felt as if my life was turned upside down. I was just going through the motions, finding little joy. I was a single mom, having to care for these 2 wonderful children, while their deadbeat dad was incapable of being a parent. He was later sentenced to 8 years prison (That’s a whole other story). I continued my work as a therapist.
I saved lives. Over time I started feeling better. I did visit my therapist a few times to check in, but was overall doing well. I wasn’t practicing yoga, though. I didn’t have any real passion for it anymore. I was still grieving.
Here we are now, seven years later, I have that spark again and the passion is back. I am a healer and have an innate ability as a therapist. I realized that I had to go through all of this to grow and understand my role to be of service.
I am here to assist in the healing process for those that suffer and struggle in life. You either are a therapist or you aren’t. You either have it or you don’t. I believe some of the greatest teachers and pioneers of our time have suffered immense pain, only to overcome and be even stronger.
Let me be your inspiration to seek help. Find a good therapist. Find one you click with. It’s ok to shop around per se, but you will have to do the work. Yes, there is work. It will be uncomfortable.
It will take you out of your box. It will challenge you. If they don’t, then lm sorry, but they’re not doing they’re job. Therapists are not here to tell you what you want to hear. That’s what friends are for. But, isn’t it worth it, if you come out of it healthier in mind and spirit? You are worth it. It’s ok to get help.
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