Willingly or not, people tend to make unpleasant comments for pregnant women. Sometimes, these comments can hurt the mother, while sometimes they might trigger some unwanted actions. Try and avoid several unpleasant statement of opinions that might make future mothers angry, sad or wanting to kill you.
1. Get All The Sleep You Can Now
This suggestion is friendly, and is intended to tell future mothers that the time for rest is now, since when baby comes they won’t get some sleep. However, mothers to be don’t need someone to remind them, they know and expect it.
2. Enjoy While You Still Can
Similar to the previous comment, this one aims to tell mothers that enjoying some activity is nearly impossible after childbirth. However, it is not totally true. Several parents find time to watch movies, read books and enjoy time spent with their partner. It is all about time management. Even though life changes, mothers can adjust and still find time for themselves.
3. Your Hair will Fall Out After Baby is Born
There is no woman out there that wants to hear she will lose* her beauty. Due to hormonal changes, women’s hair falls after childbirth, but they don’t want to be reminded about the loss of their shiny and beautiful attribute.
4. Your Sex Life Will Cease to Exist
Sex is enjoyment that nobody wants to lose*. Yes, priorities shift after baby is born, and future mothers need to pay more attention to their newborn than to their partner. However, finding time for intimacy is possible with proper time management.
5. You will Have to Eat for Two
One of the most common myths during pregnancy is that mothers need to eat for two, in order to provide nutrients for their developing baby. Constantly reminding mothers that they need to eat more puts pressure where pressure is not needed.
6. Wow! You Sure were Hungry!
The opposite situation applies here. Mothers are hungrier than normal people, they eat more, and they crave for food more. And there is no other way around. As with the previous comment, mothers know and feel how much food is enough for them, and they should enjoy without someone telling them how much is enough.
7. You Can’t Eat/Drink That!
Another food-related comment. Pregnant women get their food list from their physician, and stick to it from day one. People need to stop being food police for pregnant women. Yes, sometimes, they can reach for fish with high mercury level, or coffee or anything else on the forbidden list, and nobody can stop them.
8. Are You Sure You’re not Having Twins?
This is same as saying you look fat to a woman. While some women get bigger during pregnancy, it is rude and inappropriate to comment about their big belly. There is no link between big belly and twins, and with modern technology, women nowadays know what they are carrying pretty early in their pregnancy.
9. You’re Hoping For a Girl, Right?
If a mother has boys, don’t automatically assume she now wants a girl. People should never question expectant parent’s preferences about baby’s gender. Parents are simply happy to have a baby, and the gender doesn’t really matter. If they want a girl or a boy, they usually tell their friends, there is no need of assumption.
10. Will You Have More Kids?
Some couples plan to have big families, others are happy with just one baby. By asking a mother if she plans more babies, one automatically judges her and her choices for small family. Imagine a couple not being able to have more than one child. This comment reopens the wound and the tragedy.
11. Are You Gaining Enough Weight?
Let the physician worry about future mothers’ weight. If your intention is to complement her appearance, a better comment is “you look great”. Some mothers can be very sensitive about their weight, and if they are not gaining weight, they might get scared and panic. There is no need to add salt to the wound.
12. Can I Touch Your Belly?
For most mothers, it is uncomfortable someone else than their physician to touch their belly. They want to keep their bump for themselves. Asking is polite, but don’t push it. If a woman wants to allow someone to touch her belly, she will say it.
13. Will You Work After The Baby Comes?
The obvious answer is yes. And no mother should face this question. It is not like she plans to lie down and waste her time doing nothing. Or in the opposite situation, some mothers simply don’t feel comfortable leaving their baby alone. Nobody should judge them, in either case. Respect their freedom of choice.
14. Was it Planned?
Does it matter? The important thing is that she is pregnant, she is happy and enthusiastic about it. Once a mother decides to share the news with their friends, she is excited about the news. There is no need for pregnancy police. A simple Congratulations gets the job done.