How To Cope Up With Sex Anxiety?

Written by Michael Wight
Sex and Anxiety

Human beings are largely social and emotional creatures. Therefore, the need and pressure to fit in and live up to our various roles is ever present. This pressure extends to sex where it is constantly being referred to as an act or a performance. This social conditioning on what sex is about can pose psychological and social challenges in our day to day interactions. Both men and women are affected by performance anxiety and anxiety associated with sex as they both try to fit into their supposed roles.

Sex is a supposed to be a pleasurable experience that creates intimacy between couples. However, social pressure to ‘perform’ can distort its true purpose. In addition, the fact that we are constantly comparing ourselves to other people does not help either. This pressure to measure up either from within or without can mess up our mental wellbeing leading to unfounded anxieties on sexual matters and sexual performance. Therefore, sexual-based anxiety is not uncommon.

Causes of Sexual Based Anxiety

  • Poor body image such as concerns about weight in both sexes and concerns about penis size in men.
  • Fears that you will not satisfy your partner for whatever reasons.
  • Social misconceptions that can become unhealthy if taken too seriously for instance, that a man is always supposed to be ready and in the mood for sex whenever, wherever and if he is not, he is probably gay.
  • Fears that your lover will not satisfy your needs or that the experience may be painful. This fear is especially common in women. Statistics which claim that only a few lucky women get orgasms during sex fuels the problem further.
  • Fears of an unwanted pregnancy or of catching a Sexually Transmitted Infection.
  • Guilty feelings about sex especially among people who are committed elsewhere or those who have moral obligations that involve avoiding sex.
  • Problems in the relationship.
  • Loss of attraction to one’s partner.
  • Identity crisis where one is not particularly sure where they stand on sexual matters. Trying to figure out things in the heat of the moment is a distraction and leads to anxiety.
  • Fatigue.
  • Childhood trauma such as sexual molestation.

Symptoms of Sexual Based Anxiety

The reality is it is not possible to be anxious and sexually aroused at the same time. Our state of mind has a large impact on sexual arousal and behavior. Anxieties during sex lead to a counterproductive effect where the body releases hormones such as adrenaline and epinephrine. These hormones are enlisted to produce a flight response when one is feeling threatened. Therefore, when they are produced in the heat of sexual reactions, they turn down the heat completely. Some of the symptoms of sexual-based anxiety which is mainly associated with this flight response include:

  • Loss of erection in men
  • Premature ejaculation in men
  • Delayed ejaculation and failure to orgasm in men
  • Poor lubrication in women
  • Tensing of vaginal muscles leading to vaginal tightening in women

How to Deal with Sex Based Anxiety?

Communication:

Talking openly to your partner is a great place to start. It has been proven time and time again that the things that worry either of the sexes about sexual intercourse are barely significant to their lovers. Therefore, take it out for reassurances and useful information on your partner’s expectations.

Counseling:

If your problems are on an individual level rather than misplaced notions of what you think your partner expects from you, you may need to seek professional help. Sexual baggage as well as emotional baggage from past relationships and childhood trauma can have a great impact on your current sexual behavior. In this case, a psychologist or psychiatrist will be able to take you through a series of useful therapy sessions which will eliminate the problem with time.

A Healthy Lifestyle:

A healthy lifestyle will have a positive impact on your mental wellbeing. It will also make you more physically energetic and mentally relaxed. Hence, eat healthy and exercise more regularly. This will have an exceedingly positive impact on your sex life along with your overall wellbeing.

Set the Mood:

Do not underestimate the power of setting the mood. Foreplay relaxes both you and your partner. Setting the mood prepares you and your partner both physically and mentally for sex. Sometimes, anxieties stem from worrying too much about other problems and the inability to relax. Setting the mood can successfully eliminate the problem.

All in all, sexual anxieties are common in both men in women. In men, they are influenced by social misconceptions that is, factors from the outside. In women, they mostly stem from within. Whichever the case, sexual anxieties can negatively affect a person’s sex life by hindering his or her ability to enjoy sex. Therefore, the best way to combat this problem is to acknowledge its existence, take the time to sort it out and seek help if necessary. One can also try a male enhancement pill like Viramax For Men, as it might help to deal with sex-based anxiety.

Author

Contributor : Michael Wight ()

This Article Has Been Published on September 27, 2013 and Last Modified on September 28, 2018

Michael is a full-time freelancer who contributes to different websites in the health and fitness niche. He loves to read and share his experiences with the online community. In his free time, he plays with his dog and plays music. Over the last few years, Michael has researched and written tons of articles on diet, exercise, weight-loss, nutrition, men's and women’s health. Before working with Consumer Health Digest, he authored content for a range of popular websites, including: Business 2 Community, Michael Words, and Marie Claire. You can connect with him on Linkedin.

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