Agony Of Premature Ejaculation- Get Tips To Turning PE Around

Agony Of Premature Ejaculation
Editor's Note: This article has been recently updated with latest information and research studies.
 

What I’m talking about is something that is rarely spoken about. It’s like the elephant in the room that no-one wants to discuss. 1 in 3 men are suffering in silence as it’s not something that’s being talked about openly and so it get’s suppressed.

20%-30% of men have experienced it at some point in their lives. And on top of that, it’s affecting many relationships!

I’m Talking About Premature Ejaculation

Everyone wants a great sex life, everyone should be able to experience a great sex life however when you are experiencing premature ejaculation “PE” it can be debilitating in so many ways.

So let’s look at what it actually is:

First off, the medical professional calls it erectile dysfunction, which makes it seem like it can’t be changed or fixed. I personally don’t like this terminology as it’s already determining an outcome and giving it a label which has its own set of complications.

Personally, I like to call it an erectile challenge. With a challenge it means that there is possibilities of things changing, you might just have to work at it, hence challenge. It takes the edge off and has a lesser charge to it.

The medical also determine that PE means ejaculating under 2 minutes of penetration. However PE can look very different for many men.

Ultimately PE is really when a man is ejaculating way before he’s actually ready to. I’m not talking about lasting 20-30 minutes and “oh dam” I’ve come too soon.

For some men, PE can mean that they are so aroused before intercourse that they either don’t last to penetration or upon penetration can ejaculate straight away. For others, it’s literally that they do in fact only last a few minutes once entering the vagina.

Some men can also experience PE when masturbating. Everyone is different with their experience.

However, this leads to feelings of frustration, humiliation, distress, anger, feelings of low self-worth and feelings of not being “man enough”. It can also lead to guilt because they are not sexually satisfied nor are they satisfying their partner either and then that creates a strain on the relationship.

Unfortunately the cycle keeps going and it’s a bit like a mouse running around on the wheel and they don’t know how to get off to bring about change.

PE Issue Info

Did You Know There Are 2 Types Of Premature Ejaculation

The first type is usually something that has occurred their whole sexual life. This can sometimes start from when a young boy first starts exploring themselves and start masturbating. They want to do it quietly and quickly so they don’t get caught out.

For some men, this then creates a pattern that they don’t grow out of. Sometimes they are caught out self pleasuring, so shame and guilt gets loaded into the sexual experience which carries on into adult life.

For some young men it can start from their first sexual experience with another person. Nerves, super excitement and inexperience can have them ejaculating way too soon. This then can also start to create a pattern which gets repeated throughout their sexual experiences.

The other type of PE can occur later in life. This is usually caused by a variety of incidences. Anxiety and stress can be a big contribution, as can sometimes not maintaining an erection. Too much alcohol and medications can also play a part.

Also when a man is with a partner who is not particularly interested in sex and is always saying “hurry up”, it then creates a new pattern to ejaculate quicker. Also if their female partner is experiencing pain they will hurry up as they don’t want to hurt her.

Some other outcomes from experiencing PE is loss of libido. This can happen because having sex is so stressful that on a sub-conscious level a man can stuff his libido urges down as a way of protecting himself. The problem with that is that it’s not addressing the issue. Ignoring the problem doesn’t make it go away or sort it out.

If a man is experiencing PE he has to want to take action to sort it out. Usually this means a visit to the doctor. Most doctors will prescribe some sort of medication.

A topical medication applied to the penis prior to sex not only has a long list of side effects one of them being loss of sensation. So you might last longer, however you will have no sensation in your penis!

Others prescribe drugs which can be taken orally. Again they have a lot of side effects and drugs which are actual inhibitors create a lot of further complications. At the end of the day, these are band aid fixes and not long term solutions.

Doctors will often suggest men see a mental health worker who can look at behavioral aspects or a urologist. The problem with seeing either of these health professionals is that neither are experts in the field of sex.

Sex Experts

So what’s the alternative?

Finding a sex coach or sex educator, someone who can combine sex coaching, education and behavioral/mindset work.

One of the key aspects to turning PE around is working with the breath. When we are excited having sex we are activating the Autonomic Nervous System “ANS” There are 2 parts to the ANS, the sympathetic which is when we are in flight and flee mode.

This is when the blood is pumping the heart and breath is going faster and other things in your system are being activated. The other part of the ANS is the parasympathetic system. This is when the system slows down, breath is slow, blood pumps to the core of the body. It’s the state you go to when you meditate.

This is the part of the ANS that needs to be activated to start turning you away from arousal and the way to working with that is through breath.

There are some short-term fixes to start with such as: squeezing the head of the penis where it meets the shaft just before ejaculating. Also wearing a “cock” ring that has a vibration on the perineum can assist.

However if you want real results then the following aspects work to turn PE around. It’s important to remember that it’s a mind, body and spirit connection, so it’s critical to look at all 3 aspects when working with sexual challenges of any type.

Here’s My Top 8 Tips To Turning PE Around!

Pelvic Floor Muscles

1. Look at the 5 key emotional aspects, such as anger, guilt, fear, sadness and hurt. Work with the triggers to release them on the sub-conscious level.

2. See how lack of self worth and self love and limiting beliefs effect their behavior.

3. Teach the man how to get out of their head and into their bodies through a variety of techniques to bring about mindfulness and presence.

4. Bring them to a place of connection with their hearts and their genitals through healing processes.

5. Strengthen pelvic floor muscles and tone the pelvic floor.

6. Build up confidence and empower them in their masculinity through a variety of exercises and processes.

7. Teach new ways to self-pleasure by being connected to the body, touching the whole body and bring arousal to the whole body and not just be focused on the genitals only.

8. Introduce slow breathing and techniques to move away from arousal.

Read More: What Is The Best Treatment For Premature Ejaculation?

So in summary the best thing to get you started is to become present in your body and learn to breathe, long slow deep breaths, making sound in your throat. Relax your system and seek out a Sex Coach or Sex Educator.

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Author

Expert Author : Pauline Ryeland (Consumer Health Digest)

Pauline Ryeland, Intimacy Whisperer ® works as an Intimacy & Sex Coach & Educator. She has certifications as a: Tantra Teacher & Facilitator, Somatic Sexological Body Worker, a Master Trainer & Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Advanced Subconscious Reprogramming, Errikson Hypnotherapy, a Results Coach & Performance Consultant. Pauline works with individuals and couples around any challenges they may be experiencing with intimacy, sex, relationships and everything in between. You can contact Pauline on her website or Follow her on Facebook and Instagram.