Whether it was the high school sweetheart who went to some distant university or an adult relationship that has run its course, most of us have experienced the isolation that comes with a partner leaving.
Despite the sentiments in so many pop songs, love doesn’t always last forever.
Humans are complex beings so there will be any number of reasons why couples once committed to each other end up drifting apart.
Simply stating this is a fact of life is no consolation. Loneliness is a scourge of society, especially when this situation has come about as the result of a partnership derailing. When you are in love, the feelings are intense.
Simply thinking about that significant other can give you goosebumps.
But when it’s over you’re left with the emotional equivalent of a severe hangover.
However, much as it’s only natural to go through a grieving process when we’re single again, it’s important to focus on the light at the tunnel’s end.
If this article is describing a position, you can empathize with because you’re experiencing the loneliness of a break-up now rest assured there are many reasons to feel optimistic.
Here are five ways that should go some way towards making you feel alive again.
1. Never Drown Your Sorrows
The last thing you should ever do is behave as if you’re auditioning for a clichéd scene in a romantic comedy.
The one where the spurned party is flicking through photos, the album they used to enjoy with their ex-partner blaring in the background, a rapidly receding in a bottle by their side.
That type of negative reaction is detrimental on so many levels.
First of all, don’t ever be tempted to seek solace in alcohol or any other artificial stimulant.
Not under any circumstances.
Short-term mood boosts may temporarily ease the pain by blurring your perception of what you’re undergoing, but a drink is a depressant.
When the drunken haze dissipates, you’ll be left feeling lower than ever. With a head-splitting hangover.
If there could be anything worse than that, you are far more likely to make poor decisions.
Like phoning your ex and getting maudlin, needy and pathetic.
There are also longer-term health issues with excess boozing.
A clear head is essential for forging the positive outlook that will bring a spring back into your step.
2. Get Social
By its very definition, loneliness occurs when you cut yourself off from your social circle.
A major step towards getting on with your life again is to connect with the people who make you happy.
When friends invite you out for an evening, much as the initial reaction might be to turn them down on the pretext you’d rather be alone, make a point of agreeing.
You might even arrive at the bar or café or restaurant or cinema or sports stadium with a glum expression, but once you eventually start to unwind and join in the banter, you’ll find the trauma lifting from your shoulder.
If you head out and begin socializing again, you might well bump into someone more attractive than your former partner, or at least attractive in different and interesting ways.
Once you start a conversation, thoughts of that person who was previously hogging so much of your mind will fade.
Also, that list of possible venues is far from exhaustive.
Rather than shunning the outside world, there are so many locations that can offer recreational therapy.
3. Expand Your Mind
It can be easy to dwell on one thing, especially if it does seem an all-consuming worry at that time.
A remedy for this one-track thinking is to deliberately go out to bombard your consciousness with stimulation.
Get down to your local library and grab a fistful of books.
Sports, science fiction, nature, history; again, the list is endless.
Bury your nose in fantastical fiction or life-affirming facts.
Grab your remote control and surf the channels until you find some nature documentary with jaw-dropping footage of the natural world.
Head over to your local multiplex and become engrossed in the latest blockbuster.
One time I was moping over a relationship that had just crashed and burned and I consoled myself in a Laurel and Hardy box set.
By the time I’d concluded an afternoon’s viewing my sides were so sore with laughter I could barely recall what had compelled me to binge watch comedy DVDs in the first place.
4. Share Your Experience
It is always a mistake to bottle up negative feelings.
Like some volatile chemical solution, unless they’re released in a controlled environment they’ll continue to fester.
The solution to this is straightforward.
There is an old adage that states a problem shared is a problem halved.
I’d go much further than that. A problem shared is well on its way to ceasing to be a problem at all.
By gaining access to a sympathetic ear such as a trusted friend or close family member, you can unburden everything that has been eating you up.
Simply using them as a sounding board is helpful on its own, but if they can offer good advice, even better.
In the modern world, there are people who will provide a counseling service on a professional level.
There are also online forums or chat rooms where you can connect with others going through similar situations.
5. Get Back In The Saddle
Surely one of the most effective ways of all to trounce the breakup blues is to meet someone else who might well turn out to be a nicer person.
There are many singles bars you can go to encounter like-minded individuals.
But there is also the wonderful world of online dating. The only limit is your imagination.
There’s no excuse for staying lonely when the whole wide world is your oyster.
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