Sex, fantasy and popular culture; we see sexual images displayed in movies, on television, in magazines, books, music and advertising. Straight up, sex sells.
But is this constant sexual bombardment a stand-in, a crutch if you will, for those of us (and this should be everyone that is capable) who actually have sex, to lean on, preventing us from doing what is necessary to make sex interesting, exciting and rewarding for all parties concerned?
“Birds do it, bees do it
Even educated fleas do it
Let’s do it, let’s fall in love.”
While Cole Porter’s 1928 “Let’s Do It, Let’s Fall in Love” song for the Broadway musical “Paris” may have been seen as risqu in its day with the obvious lyrical references to sexual intercourse, people have been thinking about sex since we formed as humans, climbingout of the primordial ooze.
It is unavoidable and in fact the species wouldn’t exist without it, so let’s just do it, let’s talk about sex.
Sex is everywhere and no matter how much we may have blushed over the years at the mere mention of the word, thankfully those puritanical notions are being relegated to the dustbin of history with each passing year.
From bodice ripping novels at the supermarket checkout linewiththeir euphemistic references to lust, sex and sensuality, oftentimes set in historical contexts, to more contemporary fare depicting bondage and sadomasochisticthemes, role-play and everything in between.
Twenty-first-century consumers of popular culture are increasingly turning to more adult themes to energize and revitalize their sexual lives and loves.
It has been said that a healthy and vigorous sex life is the key to a long and happy life, a necessary component to full actualization as a thinking, engaged human being, and why not? Why not engage the largest sex organ that we possess, which is of course, our brains.
It is our imagination and willingness to honestly explore our infinite capacity for fantasy and pleasure,when we connect with other human beings,which can and will make life and love so much the richer, and infinitely more rewarding.
But it takes work, a willingness to put the time in and above all an open and honest communication paradigm,based on trust and mutual affection.
Now when we talk about”doing the work” necessary to make sex interesting and more importantly, rewarding, we are not talking about something to be viewed as drudgery.
This isn’t a job in the traditional sense that one should dread, this isn’t the kind of thing that is aSundaynight, stomach in knots, terrified of Monday morning kind of endeavor, this is SEX! and sex should always be fun.
Sex should never be mechanical, unless you’reinto that kind of thing, sex shouldn’t be done as some sort of rote obligation, but rather as a way to share your innermost self with anotherperson.
That magical connection can only come about in an environment of open and safe communication. And yes,we are ultimately talking about release, the Big O, getting your ya-ya’s off, on, or out.
Getting to the point where it is”rip each other’s clothes off”, explodingin mutual satisfaction, completely sated, completely spent and drained. So share your fantasies, your dreams, your desires to achieve a lasting and fulfilling sex life.
And since sex is everywhere, the modern world is doing everything in its collective power to stimulate and help us all find our way to getting intothe proverbial mood.
Movies have helped from the innocence of Lillian Gish in the silent era’s “Broken Blossoms,” to so called “Stag” films of the 1930’s to the late fifties, to the burgeoning pornography industry in the 1960’s onward, to the more mainstream depictions of sex, love and romance of the last thirty years with offerings such as “Body Heat,” “9&1/2 Weeks,””Bound,””Unfaithful,” “Dirty Dancing,” “Blue is the Warmest
Color,””Atonement”‘the list could go on and on, but you get the idea that there is something for everyone and there is no longerthatneed to blush.
And while modern culture is doing everything in its power to help you along to that magic moment of sexual release, the workaday world is doing everything it can torob you of the energy, time and desire to achieve your sexual goals, so here’s where some of the work comes into play.
If you are busy chasing careers, raising children and countless other commitmentsthatdrain your time, you have to schedule and plan for your sexual interaction.
The pre-arranged “date night,” the captured moment when the kids are packed off on the bus for school and the pre-arranged notice to colleagues at work that you’re going to be a little latetomorrow morning due to a “dentist appointment.”
Have the grandparents take the kids for a Fridaynight sleep over at grandma’s, with a little planning anything is possible. And if you don’t have children, you don’t have an excuse to not get busy between the sheets;so just do it.
But wait, if you act now, there’s more! Treat seduction and foreplay as an all-day affair:compliments throughout the day, a touch, an unexpected kiss for no reason on aSaturdayafternoon, flowers when they are least expected.
Perhaps ahighlighted “passage of passion” in a favoriteerotic novel, book-marked and left in an obvious place with anote on the cover for your partner to discover, possibly hidden in their underwear drawer, justbe certain it is not so hidden it is never discovered but not so in the open that it requires a mood-killing explanation to your oh-so grown-up and savvy twelve-year-old.
Never give up on that physical attraction that caused you or at the very least was a component in why you fell in love in the first place. The time when you couldn’t wait to tear each other’s clothes off and just do it.
Become connoisseurs of sexuality and sensuality, your sexual life will be so much richer for it and by default so will your life.
Here’s to la dolce vita!
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In Post Image Credit: Shutterstock.com