Are you Addicted
to Bad Relationships?
by Alina Ruigrok - www.love-sessions.com
Do
you often find that you involve yourself in relationships that
disappoint you? Are you not getting what you need and desire from
the people you choose to date? Does there always seem to be something
missing? If you answered yes to one or all of those questions,
you could very well be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships,
setting yourself up for failure without even knowing it. There
are ways you can determine whether you are addicted or not, and
ways you can break the addiction and start getting what you have
always wanted from a relationship.
Before we cover the symptoms of addiction, it is important that
we cover the dangers of staying in a bad relationship. Since bad
relationships lack what one or both partners’ need, stress becomes
a regular part of your life, as well a gradual lowering of your
self-esteem, which will make you unable to focus on your career
and personal life with the concentration and care needed, in order
for you to be happy. The constant stress will produce chemical
changes in your body that drain your energy and make you more
eligible for physical illnesses. Physical abuse in a relationship
is obvious to cause a lot of physical harm, along with great psychological
damage, but in spite of these facts, many people still choose
to proceed with such relationships, finding themselves trapped
and incapable of leaving. They find themselves depressed, on a
search for some relief and unfortunately becoming depressed and
possibly turning to drugs and alcohol.
So what are the symptoms of this addiction? Ignoring the truth
would be one. If you truly know that the relationship you are
in is making you unhappy but make no effort to exit from it, then
you are in denial and are holding yourself hostage in a situation
you do not have to be in. Making excuses for your partner’s disappointing
and bad behavior will keep you trapped and is another huge symptom
of bad relationship addiction, especially if the excuses you produce
do not back up the facts and are unrealistic. If you do finally
build up the courage to confront your partner to leave him or
her but are overcome with fear and therefore back off from the
confrontation, you are a high and sure victim of addiction because
no matter what you attempt, you find yourself always giving in
and holding on to what you know is bad for you. Suffering from
both physical and mental discomfort once broken up, unless you
get back together, is yet another symptom of addiction and should
not be denied or ignored.
What causes addiction to bad relationships? There are several
levels and everyone’s addiction is different and varies. One common
reason is the feeling and belief that if you end the relationship,
you will never find anyone else who could possibly be interested
in you or love you. You grow so attached to your partner that
you forgot your life before him or her, making you feel fearful
of being on your own and taking care of yourself. Fear of criticism
is another reason many people remain in bad relationships. They
are afraid of what people will say, believing that ending a relationship
means that they are a failure and being alone is unacceptable
and terrifying. Other reasons may be financial support that you
are receiving from a partner, making you feel that you should
tolerate bad behavior from your lover, since they are supporting
you. Having a child together can also blind you or cause you to
deny a bad relationship, making you feel guilty for leaving your
child’s mother or father. On a deeper level, you could be addicted
to disappointing and bad relationships due to your upbringing
or experiences as a child yourself. Perhaps you were not nurtured
or loved enough and you now think it is normal to be neglected
from love, care and understanding.
What should you do and how can you break a bad relationship addiction?
Since this addiction is difficult and basically impossible for
you to end on your own, counseling would be the best assistance
for you. Find a counselor or service in which experts provide
their services through, and take that first step in accepting
the fact that you have an addiction and that you need and want
help to conquer it. Start being a best friend to yourself and
open the door to all the feelings you have kept locked up for
so long. Stay focused and encourage yourself frequently by setting
a goal, and picturing yourself away from all the disappointment
and closer to all the happiness and good health you need, desire
and deserve as a person. Never give up and know that you are not
alone. There are people who can help you, know how to help and
will help you. Mainly, keep in mind that there will always be
a person who will be by your side and never leave you, always
giving you the strength, love and support you need…and that person
is YOU.
Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for http://www.love-sessions.com
helping those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital,
sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions.
About the Author
Alina
Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for http://www.love-sessions.com
helping those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital,
sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions.
